Clinton and Kissinger Sacrifice Lamb to The Fallen One at Beachside Villa
Punta Cana, Dominican Republic
Anonymous sources have informed TAKELAND that they recently spotted Hillary Clinton and former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger sacrificing a new-born lamb to the dark lord Lucifur in what they described as a “desperate attempt to pander to Millennials.” The alleged ritual took place at the beachfront villa of fashion designer Oscar de la Renta in the Dominican Republic during the Kissingers’ and Clintons’ annual winter retreat to the tropical paradise.
Takeland reached out to the former-First Lady’s camp for comment on the rumors but received no response. However, long-time Clinton ally David Brock is said to have commented on the matter in a closed-door meeting with major donors to the Priorities USA super-pac- “Look… The dark lord Lucifur has been a long time ally to progressives across the globe. Millennials like him. The media likes him. The suggestion that his support in any way affects Hillary Clinton’s judgement or decisions is another artful smear from the Sanders’ campaign.”
This comes on the tails of The Fallen One’s controversial endorsement of Clinton for the Democratic nomination. The effect of these developments may sway some undecided voters but is unlikely to affect Clinton’s massive lead with superdelegates.